Teaching your little one to self-soothe themselves to sleep? “It’s just like riding a bike”.
We’ve all heard the phrase, “It’s just like riding a bike.” It means that once you learn a skill, you never really forget it. Even if you haven’t done it in a while, with a little practice, it comes right back.
Well, learning to fall asleep independently is just like riding a bike. Once your little one masters the skill of self-soothing, they’ll always have it—even if routines get thrown off. But just for fun, let’s take this comparison a little deeper!
Learning to Sleep (and Ride a Bike) Early Has Lifelong Benefits
For most people, riding a bike is a skill learned early in life. It can be a source of enjoyment, transportation, or even a career. Sleep, while not exactly the same, is just as essential.
The ability to self-soothe and fall asleep independently is a skill best learned early. If a child is capable of learning but never given the opportunity, they become reliant on sleep crutches—making things harder for both them and their caregivers. Just like a child who never learns to ride a bike misses out on years of fun and independence, a child who never learns to self-soothe may struggle with sleep well into adulthood.
If a baby is developmentally ready to self-soothe but is never taught or given the chance, they may become dependent on external sleep aids to transition into sleep. This can be exhausting for caregivers and can prevent the child from developing confidence in their own ability to sleep independently.
Readiness and Opportunity Matter
Not all kids learn to ride a bike at the same age, and the same goes for sleep. Some kids master two wheels at age three, while others don’t learn until they’re eight or ten. If they’re never given the chance to try, they simply won’t learn. If a parent is too nervous about falls and scrapes, the child misses out.
The same is true for sleep. If a baby is ready to self-soothe but never given the opportunity, they’ll continue to rely on external help. As caregivers, it’s our job to provide the opportunity and support needed for learning—whether that’s bike riding or independent sleep.
Timing is Everything
Many parents wonder how to teach self-soothing and when to sleep train their baby. Just like you wouldn’t put a wobbly one-year-old on a two-wheeler, you wouldn’t expect a newborn to self-soothe. Typically around 4.5 months when sleep cycles and self-regulation skills mature, is when teaching self-soothing to sleep becomes a possibility.
Every baby is different. Some might be ready a little earlier, some a little later. The key is observation—just like with bike riding, you can gauge when your child is developmentally ready to take that next step. If you’re wondering when to sleep train based on your child’s readiness, look for signs like longer sleep stretches, self-soothing behaviors, and more predictable sleep patterns.
Learning Takes Time and Practice
No one masters riding a bike in a single day. A child might fall ten times on the first day, but only five times the next. Improvement happens over time, not instantly.
The same is true for sleep. Your little one might take an hour to fall asleep on night one, but on night two, it could be 40 minutes. Progress is what matters. Just as you wouldn’t scold your child for falling off their bike on day two, you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself (or your little one) if sleep learning isn’t perfect overnight.
Consistency is Key
A child learning to ride a bike will improve much faster if they practice consistently. If they try for two days, then take a three-month break, they’ll likely struggle when they try again.
Sleep works the same way. Babies need consistent practice and a clear message from caregivers that they are capable of self-soothing. If sleep learning is attempted for two days but then abandoned after a rough night or due to a trip, progress can be lost, and the routine becomes confusing. (This is a topic I’m very passionate about and have wrote several blog posts elaborating on this. Here are two other posts to check out, here and here)
Some Tears are Normal (and Not Harmful)
When kids learn to ride a bike, they may fall, scrape a knee, and cry. But as caregivers, we know they’ll be okay. We comfort them, encourage them, and help them get back up.
Babies cry to communicate. If they’re used to being rocked to sleep and suddenly that changes, they’re going to voice their confusion. But research shows that crying during the sleep learning process does not cause long-term harm. Just like with bike riding, they’ll adapt, gain confidence, and master the skill.
Different Paths Lead to the Same Goal
There’s no one way to learn to ride a bike. Some kids start with balance bikes, others use training wheels, and some go straight to two wheels with a parent’s guiding hand. The end goal is the same—riding independently.
Sleep learning is no different. As a certified pediatric sleep consultant, I work with families to find the Just Right sleep solution for their little one. Every child is unique, and there are different methods to teach self-soothing. What matters most is finding an approach that fits your child and your family’s needs.
Just like learning to ride a bike, learning to sleep independently is a skill that takes time, practice, and patience. If you’re wondering how to teach self-soothing and need guidance, I’m here to help. With the right approach and consistency, your little one will develop the confidence to fall asleep independently—so your family can rest easy!💜🧸